Race

I feel the race of my breath beating silently against my heart…dryness fills the cup of my tongue and I am speechless…I wept silently then inwardly revealing the shiver that overtook each word on the page, not wanting it to end.

Erection from each limb succeeds to open my eyes and live truth…maybe.

Such breathtaking presence shakes me from the cold into the heat of winter and…WOW…I am really here…not wanting to leave the essence as I draw nearer to the window exclaiming victory…victory!

I feel a sudden urge to listen attentively…touch indecently…and whisper, euphorically…moving the very being into creation…the one that’s hidden out of sight, deep in the crevices…your thought provoked an ember contained and the fire spake before I was able to notice there was voice.

Magnificent.

My mind weeps again as I realize I am no longer awake but in a dream…in a state of being…I am foggy…my eyes glaze over and I realize I cannot see. I am sober.

The metaphors used instinctively captured me revealing the next phrase…I swoon, and believe that I can walk a straight line- drunk…My sanity is torn…I can’t find my way out of this pleasure unfocused…I lapse into a creative funk and strewn my fantasies while revolving around them… I collapse, heart pounding silently against my thoughts and I cannot believe I am here…the static that clings to me, burns and blinds and I want to rid myself of it but I am not withering due to it, so I weep.

I weep a song of patience one so trivial to my being that I am disclosed, misplaced and I wait…the pattern has found me utterly disgusted of the significance it brings to sound…I can not wait and I forced to drive a path that I have designed utterly impossible…I want to close this off and being again a new driven path- roads that I have not known to create on the fly.

Silence.

I watch as the days go by and I am satisfied being unfulfilled, how can I want more when I do not strive for- patience.
I race toward a figure unknown- learning utterly that it’s my reflection in the shadows of the dark surrounded by light, inviting light. Living…for light…and I race.

Silently I wait

I have come to fight the thoughts of pestilence submerging fortitude into the abyss of dreams I want to live…is it the loss of interest that brings me to a place of defeat…I sent a text to reveal the me of thought and I cannot play here in the mind of dreams, so I give in and listen to silence while I await you…

What does it mean when we say nothing…have we come up with a black hole to live in…So I play temptation with the flute of disparaging to prolong time…I don’t want to loose an era for the future…I have suspended all pleasure for this to come out…and the pit reveals the disclosure of this nervous feeling…

What am I to say except, shut out the thoughts of contemplation and BE…forget the minds of we- separate…love? What is this, except a common fallacy shared by all…

I can’t forgo the sunshine, the pounding of my blood vessel to bring us back while sinking ships with its red clay sea…I want to smoke away the silence that lives in us to see your butterfly untrammeled and fluttery a boisterous soliloquy, revealing all sources of displeasure.

I can’t talk the mind of shrewd bliss…cleanse the windows of your soul and be complacent to be peaceful…unknown to my reasons…you’re still here…
Are you?
I cannot hear the whisper of your footsteps among the shadows of night and I have come to listen to the silence while I wait…

I hear you peacefully reciting an oral musing while I await the silent music of pieces… falling…I give you time knowing that I am not what I have seen…your beauty is opulent and while it makes no sense for it to be here, I still welcome it.

Mystery mystifies the pursuit…yet I remain inward proposing to widen the clutter that I am…listen to me while I await the silence of you…

When I became the failure, you saw no reason to stay, but no reason to come to my aid- vainly hoping that I would pull myself out of the darkness…why do you turn so easily when the sight displeases your vision…your life is full of things that I cannot master and while securely I rest on the blanket of knowledge, you can never fully understand what breaks me to remain. Loose rationale has forever lost its place in my home and I cannot come to bear the fact that emotion is trying to replace it…it’s never been welcome.

I am so clearly swayed by thoughts that I will loose out on time that I have become patient in my waiting…wanting, searching, for a way to break the silence and free the bird that can never be captured…Have you thought about what it means to remain still?

It’s frightening.

My gracious attempts to please you have been lost with an attempt to understand myself and why I am so accommodating… I dislike a rocky boat and while I rationalize away emotion, it creeps up in my attempts to be normal- a fact I never have come to recognize.

I wonder why is it that I wait.

The beats slow to a whisper and I know that I am waiting….not for you but for myself.